When we were newly engaged I spent hours fawning over photos and blogs of weddings. Gorgeous photos of outdoor California vineyard, rustic Texas barnyard and Canadian forest weddings. Personal "do it yourself" centerpieces, organic food dinners and candles galore... what is not to love? Once I started planning I even liked making a budget, finding vendors and trying to work in ways we can make our day feel like us without blowing the bank. (hello... I would like to buy a house at some point in my life...)
I decided last night that I really dislike the Industry that weddings have become. It's now the norm to spend 30,000 $'s or more on a one day affair. It's tacky to have cash bars, Friday night affairs or not give your guests a favor. You need to have $15 a slice cakes, letter pressed invitations and whole weekend affairs consisting of brunches, luncheons, golf outings, a spa day... etc. You throw the word wedding in and prices increase 25%... really?
When did it go from celebrating the beginning of two peoples lives together to this huge extraveagant blowout?
And you know what the worst part is? It's really easy to get caught up in it all. When you start reading and hearing "most important day in your life" it's really hard not to think about all the things you suddenly need to make this ONE day perfect.
Well guess what- I'm going against the grain. I hope my wedding is Not the most important day of my life. I want it to be one of the most important dayS of my life. When I sit back and get out of the wedding world and take a look at the kind of day I want it to be... it's not about the centerpieces or linens that I really think about... it's making a life long commitment with the support and love of all my friends and family. Oh, that and dancing... lots and lots of dancing. :)
While I may be struggling right now to enjoy this planning process... I can't wait for it to actually arrive. Any suggestions on how you kept your sanity while planning your wedding???
4 comments:
We got married at the courthouse and had a party after we got back from out honeymoon. it was a very small party, no stress. It was great. Put some distance between you and that "wedding industry". Choose things that are meaningful to you and your fiance. Scale down, limit the invitation list. Enlist talented family and friends to do the invitations, bake the wedding cake, etc. How about a small destination wedding?
Close your eyes and ask yourself what you want your wedding to look like. What's your heart's desire? Don't think about what other peoples expectations might be.
Look at this cool wedding. The called it an elopement, but their were others in attendance, so I don't know.
http://giacanali.com/blog/2010/05/jillian-daxs-romantic-handmade-everything-california-mountain-elopement/
You've had enough stress so do what you can to reduce the wedding plan stressors.
We also were married at the courthouse and then had a big ceremony and reception a year and a half later (thank you deployment) and after the "big day" I was so relieved we did it that way. I didn't feel any of the stress because even if the whole day went terribly wrong, I was already married to the love of my life.
We went all out (thank you deployment pay) in the areas that were important to us (photography, food) and "skimped" on the things that weren't (flowers, centerpieces, cake). Those stupid favors caused me such a head ache. We ended up renting a photo booth that provided us a copy and the guest a copy of the photo strip. That was, hands down, the best decision I made in regards to the wedding. Our guests LOVED it and we loved that at the end of the night, we had a scrapbook full of photos to look through of our day.
You hear it all the time, but don't sweat the small stuff. No one is going to notice if your cake comes from a box instead of costing $15 a slice.
Plus, at the end of the day, you'll be married to your best friend and that's what it's all about!
You have echoed exactly my frustration throughout our wedding planning. I planned our day around the idea that our wedding was our first act of hospitality as a couple. If I struggled with a decision, I asked myself how it would impact our guests. If it didn't, I went with the easiest, cheapest option and let it be. I focused on a few details that I loved and then just let it be a good party. And I think the general consensus was that we succeeded! Best of luck as you plan. When you feel overwhelmed, just step back, take a deep breath and remind yourself of what is most important. And a wedding under $30k is so easily doable. Don't let any wedding magazine tell you differently. We're looking forward to celebrating with you both!!!!
My wife and I had a BIG wedding...250 guests with all the trimmings. We went into a lot of debt because we thought we owed everyone a big wedding. (Neither of us have rich parents) A few months into the marriage we looked back and realized the best part of the day was celebrating with friends and nothing else really mattered. That was 13 years ago. My wife tells brides-to-be all the time, "Figure out what is important to you and do that, and nothing else."
Have fun with it and don't get stressed!
Post a Comment