May 19, 2009

Books and thoughts on life.

I have a list going of things I need to blog! I feel so behind but, I think that it is because my life has been a blur that speeds by me this month!

Last weekend I made it home after my days on call and got to hang out with friends both in Columbus and Cincinnati. It was fantastic since I had been working most weekends since January and only getting to see people on week nights when everyone has a lot of things to do.
Saturday night was a cookout for my friend Elly's birthday. I got to see a lot of my friends in Cincinnati I have not seen for a while. Most of these friends are married and a lot have kids now, or coming. (This is the "year of the baby" in my life!) The guys were hanging outside around the fire and corn hole, while us girls hung inside with the kids and babies talking about houses, roofs, babies and pregnancy. Now I have grown up with these girls for most of my life and while most of them have done things together (get cars around the same time, date guys who were friends, get dogs, tv's, houses, husbands, the list goes on and on) and I have always felt like I was different, doing things on "Megan time".
Being around my friends makes me feel anxious sometimes. Like I am behind in my life, like I'm not doing what everyone else is... and then I think wait a minute, I don't want to do what everyone else is doing! See, thats the great thing about life- you get to make it what you want. I know I don't have control over everything in my life. I know that I can't have international destinations at work because we fly domestic, nor can I have a baby this year, I am not pregnant, but I get to have goals and dreams and work my way towards them. See, I don't really want their 9-5 lives right now, I didn't want to buy a house when all my friends did because I was not sure where I wanted to settle down. It's like the saying that the grass is always greener on the other side. Most people will tell you the good but not the bad, so it is easy to question choices I have made for my life. But once I think about it, I love the fact that this month I have a week off and we are trying to fly to Bangkok for a few days. I'm so glad to have this freedom right now, because I know eventually I will get to add in to the conversations about babies and houses but that will be on my time. I will settle down at some point, but not yet. Not because I feel like I should and not because I have gotten traveling out of my system. (Which I am sure I am not the only Flight Attendant who has been talked to like my job is a "Stage" in my life I will grow out of)

I was thinking about all of this commuting back up to New York on Sunday. When I sat down in my seat I found a book in the back pocket. It is called Night Train to Lisbon and so far it is amazing. It speaks a bit on what I was thinking about. It's main character is a man who is very structured in his life, a few things happen one day and he opens up in a new way and takes an outside look at his life. He doesn't know why, but he is changed and feels a passion to do something about it. It's a quiet strength of the book that has me captured right now.

1 comment:

Postcards and Coasters said...

Don't rush your life...enjoy where you are. Your 20's are for exploring. You don't need the house, the husband or the kids right now. If it happens great but if not take that extra trip. That's the beauty of being single. And travel to as many far off destinations before you have kids! Trust me, taking a 20 month old on a 13 hour flight sounds like hell! ;) Take a class in something that interest you. One of the great things about our flexible job.

The book you found sounds really interesting, I might have to check it out.

...and as I write this my daughter just threw her spaghettios all over the floor. See all the fun your missing?! ;)