Lately, I've noticed a trend... a few friends have been opening up on social media about mistakes that they have made with their children. Nothing has been life threatening and while I feel bad for their guilt and the short lived pain of their children... it's a little refreshing to see such honesty. It's nice to know when I make those mistakes, that I'm not the worlds worst parent and it happens to everyone.
I think... actually... I know there is a pressure today to portray a picture perfect life online. Blogs, Facebook, Twitter and Instagram can easily be used to paint a really pretty picture of someones life. It's also pretty easy to get a false sense of what really goes on day to day, behind the scenes. Quickly, you can feel like you know someone just by reading their blog, even though you only see what they allow you to see of their life.
I follow a few blogs and quickly scroll through them in the mornings when I'm giving Logan milk and we are both waking up for the day. Admist all the posts of perfecr families and full weekends... one of my favorite to check out is Reasons My Son is Crying
This is not because I love to see children cry, but because it makes me feel more normal to know that everyone has days where their child cries and has meltdowns. It's normal to feel like a parenting failure when your kid has a tantrum in the middle of a store and you have no idea what to do.
I especially love the ones that go something like this...
My child wanted a cup and so I gave it to him.
This is totally normal people!
I have a few up my sleeve but I thought I would share with you my biggest mommy mishap.
We moved into our house at the end of Sept. Our doorknobs are these fancy doorknobs that can stay locked on the outside even when you open them on the inside.
One morning, I was hanging out with Logan in our dining room, which is currently without furniture and our playroom. We had boxes and baby gates set up to keep him contained in the room. This morning he was in quite a mood and pretty cranky. We were expecting a package to be delivered and as I looked outside I noticed that it had started to rain. Logan was distracted playing with a toy so I took a moment to run outside to check on the package and enjoy a moment of silence. I exited into the garage and closed the door behind me. I checked outside... no package. As I turned around and looked at the closed door, I immediately knew what I had done.
I had a complete sense of panic that fled through my whole body. I ran up to the door banging and throwing my weight into it to see if I could get it to open. I started running around my house, checking windows and doors to see if I could get in. At one point, I had a large piece of wood and I was thinking about trying to break a window to get in. I kept peeking on Logan through the window to make sure he was ok. Obviously I was not there and he kept hearing lots of banging so he was a little hysterical.
I honestly tried to kick down the door to get back in through the garage. With that noise, Logan somehow escaped the room we had him in and was screaming/crying at the door. I didn't know what to do.
So, I ran to my neighbors house. People I had not met yet. This wonderful, nice older lady came to the door to a sobbing mess. She listened as I tried to talk, grabbed her phone and called the police as we headed back across the street. Logan was still at the door and I realized that as long as he was there... he was safe. We had no put the gate on the bottom of the stairs yet and the thought of him getting hurt because of me was more than I could handle. I swear if he had left the door, I would have thrown myself through a window to get to him.
What felt like forever later, the police arrived to help me break into my own house. I was so embarrased but I didn't even care... I just needed to get to Logan. The police officer worked and worked and pried but he too was having trouble to get into the house.
Finally the guy that we bought the house from happened to drive by. He pulled into the driveway and I went running, begging him to tell me they still had a key hidden somewhere. Which, they did. He went running to get it and a minute later, the door was open and I was holding a shaken but unharmed baby.
All I wanted that morning was a moment of silence and once I got it, I didn't want it anymore. It took 45 minutes to get back into my house and I'm sure it will take 45 years for me to forgive myself. (We have since hidden our own key and are replacing the doorknobs)
So, while he was napping later and I googled "I locked my kid in my house" I read countless stories exactly like mine.
It helped. It still helps. I make mistakes, I am not perfect. But I try everyday to keep my family happy and safe. As I read those stories that others posted, I realized how thankful I was for so many people to share their failures for others to know that they are not alone.
So, if anyone out there is having a bad day, did something stupid or feel bad about letting their kid eat a ladybug or fall off a couch... let me tell you- you are NOT alone in your failures! We are all right there with you.
Anyone have any stories you would like to share?