Well, I'm going to admit it. First because I want to share my experience and second because I'm stressed and I feel like if I write it, it will get out of my head and float into the abyss of the internet.
Last week I found out I have Basal Cell Carcinoma Skin Cancer.
As my dermatologist said, if you have to have one... this is the one you want. It's fine, I will be fine but tomorrow I head into surgery and I'm scared. See the thing is it is located on my nose... not the best place to have something go wrong.
I am going in for MOH's surgery where they will remove the cancer itself and a small layer of skin/tissue around it and then go right in and test it to make sure that they got it all out while I wait in the waiting room. If not I will go back in for round 2, 3, 4 or how ever many times it takes to get it all out without cutting out healthy tissue and leaving a larger area to close (I'm praying for 1). The next day I go into the plastic surgeon where he fixes me all up and then I recover. For the next 72 hours I have to remain upright. No bending to tie my shoes, no laying down to sleep... ugh.
I've been loading up on shows and movies to watch, books to read and scarfs to knit.
I know I'm lucky that we caught it pretty early but I am scared to how deep it will go... that is the unknown. Through the appointment and tears I have learned first hand how scary the word Cancer is even when you know you aren't dying. I can only imagine the heavier feeling other cancers bring. (I hope that this is the only time I have to hear that word again.)
Since I am getting married in October I've been a little worried about scarring. I am supposed to be excited to meet with vendors, engagement photos and Bridal/Bachlorette parties not worried I will look funny. Also forget talking about my job... it's not like I can hide behind a desk... I'm out serving people each day. Luckily for me Geoff has been wonderfully supportive throughout this whole ordeal and I feel very lucky to have him in my life.
It might take me a day or two but I will let you all know how it goes.
Please please please if nothing else get your skin and moles checked out (Especially any that change color, shape or bleed!) and wear sunscreen!!!