Fly The Friendly Skies

At work, I come into contact with lots of people. Some speak English, others don't. Large, small, weirdly dressed, hardly dressed, smelly, sick, tall, short, everyone of them different and unique. Sometimes, like on this past trip, weather strikes and flights go bad. I have to deal with all the different personalities, tempers and attitudes that follow these people. So far, thank goodness, I have always found a way to calm them down and no one has ever been kicked off my flight before... that is until this trip.
We were sitting on a short break in New York, all reading on the plane, when this little guy came bobbing right onto the plane. Excuse me, I said... where do you think you are going?
He said nothing in return and just kept bobbing down the aisle and under the seats in row 3.
Nope, this was no person, this was a pigeon!

I am used the the pigeons in Atlanta, but I was not prepared to defend the plane in New York as well.
Since I fly on smaller jets, in some cities, we do not have jet bridges to board and the plane is open to the elements outside and this the pigeons have learned. Open planes mean crumbs on the floor that they can snack on- if they can get past the flight attendant.
Off my plane, I said as I chased his back to the stairs where he stood bobbing his head and looking at me.
I turned around and the F.O. looked both a little shocked and amused... Hopefully he learned his lesson, you can't get free peanuts and crackers without a boarding pass!